March 2010
Your smile does wondrous things to me.
Tomorrow.
March 1 marks the third year anniversary of my uncle’s death. Instead of explaining a sad story of how I found out, I’m going to tell a happy memory.
In 2002, we went to the Philippines for a holiday vacation. We stayed for about a month. It was hard for me to adjust to the time and difficult for me to fall asleep and stay asleep. So, I’d wake up very early in the morning and watch movies in the living room. It could be 3 or 4 in the morning. Uncle Ribany would walk in on me and ask me why I wasn’t in bed. I told him I couldn’t sleep. He’d laugh and tell me it was okay.
For his daughter’s wedding, he shaved of his long Chinese man’s beard. It was the first time I’ve seen a his clean face. And it was also the last. I cried when we left because I didn’t want to leave the Philippines.
We moved to Las Vegas, almost four years later. Not living in Henderson for even a year, was when we heard the bad news. My mom cried all day and I was in denial. It was so hard for me to get over it. I never did and I don’t think I ever will. I’ve come to cope with it, but I’ll never forget how it made me feel.
Uncle Ribany, I love you and I miss you so much.
Rest in peace.
You know what I hate?
When my parents brag about other people’s kids. I really don’t care if their daughter has been on the honor roll since kindergarten or their son is going to Harvard or their kid was on a show no one has even heard of. Don’t talk to me about how amazing, smart, beautiful, skinny, gorgeous, incredible, wonderful they are. Because really, I just don’t give a damn. It makes me even feel more like a complete loser when you say: “Why can’t you be more like them?” Maybe because I’m not them.
I'm not jealous.
My mom just scolded me about my response to her was when she asked what show that girl was from. That girl’s a bitch to me. Why should I be nice to her? All I said was: “She was in Without A Trace.” And under my breath, I said: “I have never heard of that show.” Why are people quick to assume that when I say something mean, that I’m jealous? Telling me to think before I talk. Why don’t you practice what you preach next time.
